Thursday, September 3, 2009

Healing the Inner Child Part 2

This is the second in a series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner child (Clarity issue 167).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

The work described in this article usually requires
Guidance and support by a person experienced in this work.

We may not be consciously aware that our inner child feels vulnerable, lonely, fearful, angry or hurt, yet, these emotions are very visible in the form of our anxiety, fears and defensive reactions. Our hidden emotions are also quite evident in our dreams, muscular tensions and psychosomatic illnesses.

On the other hand, our inner child and other aspects of our subconscious are a rich and abundant source of inspiration, joy, creativity and love for life.

We need to establish contact with our inner child and learn to accept and love it as it is, while at the same time educating it concerning the truth of its divine nature. We can then heal our inner child of its traumas and misconceptions while simultaneously recovering from it our innocence, joy and inner connection with life.

Regardless of which techniques we employ in relationship to the inner child, it is essential that we develop a relationship with it by communicating daily. We suggest the following technique.

Sit or lie down with the spine straight.
2. Relax the entire body and mind through your preferred relaxation or concentration technique.
3. Imagine the inner child and communicate with it. (It might appear at any age.)
a. Ask it how it feels.
b. Ask if it has some needs it would like to express.
c. Speak to it about your needs as an adult.
4. Give it positive reinforcement. Our child needs to hear about love, security and self-worth.
5. Mentally embrace the child and hold it with tenderness and love.
a. Feel (imagine) the child in your arms.
b. Then Identify with the child's smaller body and feel yourself being embraced, accepting the love and tenderness offered to you.
c. Become one energy with the child.

This technique can be performed alone as it is or as a prelude to any meditation, relaxation technique, prayer or positive projection technique. Once mastered, it takes only five minutes.

Our first step will be to discover the events that might have programmed our inner child to be overly sensitive to situations or stimuli, which we now objectively realize, are not worth losing our peace over. In studying the following list of possible childhood experiences, we might find some experiences described exactly as we remember them, while others may remind us of experiences that are somehow different than the ones described. Some memories or associations may take time to come. We may be reminded of something else of which we would like to take note.

Note: We are not seeking to wallow in the past and find reasons or excuses to feel unhappy or angry at others or ourselves for possible mistakes. This will be a process towards freedom, only if we approach these memories for the purpose of freeing ourselves from them, and moving beyond them with forgiveness towards ourselves and others.
This forgiveness however must be experiential and not intellectual. It needs to be something that we feel and not think. In order to get into a space for real forgiveness, we need to release the pain, bitterness, hurt, fear, injustice, shame, guilt and anger stored in these memories. The most effective way to do so is through the techniques of Energy Psychology such as EFT, TAT, BSFF, EMDR, Sedona method, Freeze Frame and Ho'oponopono. If you are not familiar with these techniques you can learn about them in the chapter in this book on that subject and or in more detail at (Also in my book Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology.)

If you do not have the goal of letting go and transcending and transforming all of these past experiences, but are looking for reasons to feel hurt, angry or guilty, then it is better not to proceed.
In each case you will benefit by considering which beliefs and false assumptions were instilled into your inner child by these experiences. In this way you will gain insight into why you are sensitive to certain events, situations and behaviors. This knowledge if used correctly will allow greater freedom from such conditioned reactions. You will be able to remind yourself that you are not what you are feeling and that your emotions are the product of certain past events that have programmed your mind in this way.

The next step will be to remember that you are not your mind or its thoughts, but rather the consciousness that is observing both.
But once again it must not become a trap if wallowing in self-pity, anger or guilt. We are simply emptying the closet of the subconscious or old unnecessary clothing. Once we take the clothing out, we do not start wearing them again, but dispose of them.

Continued in the next issue.

Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy

I have taken classes from Mr. Najemy and if you have further questions or need assistance with this please contact me at:  If I can’t assist you I will help you contact Mr. Najemy.

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