Some of the problems with the ways in which we seek to increase or "protect" our energy in relationships.
Our energy is directly related to the satisfaction of our needs. When our basic needs are satisfied, we feel safe and we open to the energy waiting within ourselves to flow forth. When someone pays attention to us, admires us, congratulates us, loves us, accepts us or compliments us in some way, we experience a boost of energy.
When their positive input to us in genuine and they also love themselves, they have provided us with a stimulus that allows us to feel our inner sense of security and self-worth and thus contact our own inner energy reservoir.
The main problem with the ways in which most people seek to gain energy is that we try to get it from outside of ourselves rather from our direct connection with the universal source, which is within us. This is well expressed in the third, fourth and fifth insights of the Celestine prophesy.
The fourth insight describes the way in which we "battle" to get our energy from others by playing the commonly know roles of the victim, aloof, interrogator and intimidator. We seek to take energy from others by controlling them through these and other roles that we play. We hope to be able to control them so that they will give us what we need. In addition we play these same games in order to prevent others from being able to control us or take energy from us. We often do this in order to verify our self-worth and our superiority.
Even though the possible (but not probable) rewards from these games is ever so miniscule in comparison to openly loving and being loved, most people have never experienced the later and thus resort to these love destroying games.
When we are battling for energy, then we seek to get the upper hand, by playing the victim and making others feel sorry or us or feel guilty and responsible for our realty and thus pay attention to us, not ask anything from us and give us what we need. We take their energy they feel depleted and perhaps resentful and angry because they feel manipulated and or suppressed. In the rare case that the others comply with our need out of love and understanding (rather than out of fear or guilt), then do not lose but rather gain energy.
This is important for us to remember. If we are going to make sacrifices for others, it must be done with love and knowing that we have the free choice of not giving them what they want and that we chose without fear or guilt and only out of love to give to them. In such cases, we never loose energy - but actually gain as we become conductors of divine love. Sacrifices out of fear or guilt have no value and they drain our energy. Sacrifices of love increase our energy.
The same is true concerning our interactions with all the other games that people play. We need to cease making compromises because we need attention from the aloof, or the acceptance from the interrogator or because we fear the intimidator. When we make compromises out of fear or guilt we give our energy to the others - which does them no good in the end - because it is stolen energy and not true energy. When we make compromises out of understanding and love, we actually gain energy and of course - so do they.
In general we tend to lose energy when our programming causes us to feel fearful, dependent, rejected, demeaned, controlled, unwanted, unloved, humbled, lonely, disillusioned, weak, unable, suppressed and or any other unpleasant emotion. We also obviously cause others to lose energy when we behave in ways that trigger such feelings in them.
We can immediately see that when we feel our energy is in danger we will become fearful and will want to protect it. We need to free ourselves from our fear of losing energy, which causes us to become defensive and selfish and indifferent to how others feel and what they need. In this case we could replace the word energy with time, money, attention and other possible resources that we might fear losing.
These energy games are also control games. We feel an inherent fear of being controlled and simultaneously a need to control others. This causes us to react negatively, defensively and perhaps even offensively when we feel that others are endangering our energy level by asking us to do something we feel we do not have the time, inclination or energy to do. When we controlled by such fear, we may become angry, critical and even violent - or at least distant
The truth is that we do not need to protect ourselves and our energy by crying, complaining or becoming angry, critical or distant. We can simply let go of our fear of the intimidator, and our need for acceptance from the interrogator and or victim as well as our need for attention or communication from the aloof. When we are free from these fears and needs, we loose no energy when they play these roles because we are able to maintain our feelings of security, peace and love.
This will require that we let go of the responsibility we feel for others' realities and our need for their acceptance and approval. We will also need to learn how to communicate with I-messages and active listening. (Visit http://www.holisticharmony.com/archives/imessages/)
Our energy is increased when we feel loved, respected, admired, appreciated, respected, cared for, supported, important, useful, helpful, grateful, secure, worthy, special and free to be ourselves.
Love, like any other spiritual quality, requires a high level of positive energy. Not nervous energy or ambitious energy, but a sense of well-being and inner power and strength. As spirits in the process of mastering our ability to express our divine nature such as love, forgiveness, peace, honesty and conscientiousness, our first responsibility is create a strong and positive energy field.
Energy stimulation as opposed to inner flow
Many of us confuse the stimulation of or the use of energies already stored within our system with actually receiving new cosmic energy from our universal source.
Stimulating the energy already within is like shaking an old battery or toner cartridge for our printer so that it will give us a little more service. This will work only temporarily until they become totally empty. Connecting to the source would be like recharging (a rechargeable) battery or having the toner cartridge filled.
What are some of the ways in which we try to re-stimulate and eventually deplete our energy sources rather than refill them with new energy?
Junk food, sweets, soft drinks, alcohol and cigarettes can be a major source of short-lived energy bursts. For some the whole issue of food can become a life drama.
Thinking about it, buying it, preparing it, eating it, cleaning up after and then thinking about the next meal. Food in excess as we all know actually drains rather than boosts our energy. We often use these substances in an attempt to temporarily balance or cover up emotions such as anxiety, fear or pain.
One obvious way that we try to get quick energy from our stagnant reserves is through chemical substances such as sugar, caffeine, amphetamines, alcohol and other stimulants. The results of such strategies are often negative physically and emotionally.
We also have an inner pharmacy of chemicals that stimulate but eventually drain our reserves rather than placing us in contact with our unlimited universal source. These chemicals are called peptides, which are the hormones of our emotions.
Every time we experience an emotion, our hypothalamus excretes some of the peptides, which are then received by the cells in the same receptacles that accept the above mentioned external stimulants. Our body then becomes addicted on the same way to these emotion-created stimulants and we become dependent on these emotions for our sense of energy and balance, just as we do with coffee and others substances.
Continued in the next issue. by Robert Elias Najemy