Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Healing the Inner Child part 5

This is the fifth in a nine part series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner Child (Clarity issue 170).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Alternative Perceptions

Note:  The work described in this article usually requires Guidance and support by a person experienced in this work.


Basically reality as we imagine it does not exist. We create our own personal subjective reality through our perceptions and interpretations of what has happened and what is happening and also what might happen. This is what we call reality - it is totally subjective and we can change it by simply altering our perceptions of that has happened, is happening and might happen.

For each of our false assumptions we need to find new more enlightened ways of perceiving the same events so that we can create a new upgraded experience of the same event or situation. What are some of those possible alternative beliefs?

1. I am, and always was, worthy of acceptance, respect and love even when others were not able to recognize and acknowledge my innate inner beauty and goodness.
2. When others were not able to show me the love and respect I deserve and have always deserved, it is simply because they were suffering and unhappy at those moments.
3. When someone is angry, aggressive, blaming and even hurtful, it is because he or she is fearful and suffering inside.
4. All of us - including the adults of our childhood years, did the best they could at each moment, with the handicap of their own childhood experiences and resulting fears, programming, pain, anger and guilt.
5. My self-worth is an immutable fact that can never be increased or lessened by another's words, actions or problems.
6. I was actually always safe in all situations - the proof of that is that I am here today.
7. As a soul, before incarnating, I had chosen all of the events of my childhood years because for some reason, (that perhaps one day I will understand) they offer me the perfect stimuli for the lessons and growth I have chosen in this life.
8. Whatever people may have done that hurt me, was always because of their ignorance of their and my true nature.
9. I am an expression of divine consciousness and this body and mind are my temporary vehicles of expressions on the earth. My self-worth and security are never in any way dependent on those temporary vehicles of expression.
10. All of the adults of my childhood including those who played the roles of my parents (biological or not) are simply fellow souls in the process of evolution with whom we have agreed on a spiritual contract to play these roles.
11. These souls whom I have chosen are not in any way perfect and are also in a learning process and we are learning together here in the material world. I cannot expect them to be better than their programming allowed them to be.
12. I owe to my parents love, care and respect, but never to live my life according to their beliefs when they conflict my deepest values. I respect and love them, but live my life according to my own values.
13. I was never responsible for others' realities. Each creates his or her own reality.
14. In the same way, others were never responsible for my reality.
15. I am safe in all situations and always was safe in the past, even when I was fearful.
16. I am worthy of love and acceptance even when I make mistakes, which are part of my evolutionary process.
17. I am worthy of love and respect even when I do not do what others want me to do. (Of course I need to also love them when they do not do what I want them to do.)
18. I am safe in love. Loving is my greatest power.
19. I am and always have been worthy of unconditional lasting love, regardless of others' inability to do so.
20. I am and always was safe and loveable even when I was different than others or was unable to accommodate their needs or demands.
21. I am and always was safe and loveable even when others were ill, unhappy, in pain, critical, abusive, rejecting, condemning, threatening, angry, and hateful.
22. We are all divinely unique and there never was, and nor is there now, any reason to compare myself to any other fellow soul in the process of evolution.
23. It always was and is totally natural and pure to experience and express my divinely given sexuality.
24. Regardless of others ability to perceive my intelligence and ability, I am as all other souls totally capable to creating the life that fulfills me.
25. Regardless of society's and perhaps the clergy's confusion on this point, God has always loved me (and all others) as I was in every moment of the past - no matter what I did or did not do; and still loves me exactly as I am today.
26. Although I may have learned in the past to identify money with safety or self-worth, I was always and am today safe and worthy regardless of my economic situation.
27. I am not a child anymore. I am an adult and I can create the reality I choose.
28. The events of the past do not exist. They have no power over me whatsoever except for the power I give to them. I choose to accept whatever happened, love myself and love others and let go of "that which does exist anyway".
29. I am and have always been free. In the moments in which I felt suppressed, the reality was and is that I bartered my freedom for safety, acceptance or love. This was a free choice. If I now desire to make different choices, then I am now free to do so.
You can add hundreds of more alternative perceptions depending in the particular experience you would like to transform. Remember we are not seeking to suppress what we feel or cover up the event. We want to focus on it exactly as it we "remember" that it happened, but to now interpret differently what that means about us others and life.

It is important to clarify that, when altering our perception of the past, we need to be very careful not to cover up or suppress feelings or energies. This would lead to a situation in which these suppressed emotions or energy fields would work subconsciously undermining our psychosomatic health and even our mental state and behavior. We would not be free.

This is not a philosophical or intellectual exercise but rather an experiential one. We must first remove the emotional charge through expression, emotional release and energy psychology, before we begin to alter our perception of what happened.

Otherwise it would be like recording a new song on an old cassette without erasing the previous song. When we play the cassette, both the old and the new song will play. In this case we will experience both the old emotions and our attempt to believe our new perceptions.

We need to erase the cassette first and then record the new song. We need first to remove the old emotional energy associated with each event, before moving forward to reinterpret it. This can be done with EFT, BSFF, TAT, EMDR and Sedona. Some of these techniques, such as TAT, EMDR and EFT with choices, incorporate the installation of the new perception once the old emotional charge has been removed or seriously reduced. Please keep this clarification in mind.

In general we want to relive the event, while keeping in mind that we were always safe and worthy of love and respect, regardless of what was happening and whether others were in a position emotionally to behave towards us as we always deserved.

We simply now realize that we were good worthy, loveable beings - even if we were wrong or made a mistake - (we are not saying that we were perfect). All beings at all times are expressions of the divine. No being is ever unworthy of love or respect. All beings are divine. We make mistakes and need to recognize and correct them. But we and others are always worthy of love and respect, no matter what mistakes we might make.

Also as children we were most likely pure and good hearted and probably did not desire to harm anyone. Most of the cases in which we experienced rejection and abuse was because the adults had their own problems, their own fears and attachments. This does not mean that the solution is to blame, reject or hate them. This will solve nothing.

We have made "soul agreements" with them before we were born that they would act in these ways for our spiritual awakening. We are not to blame. They are not to blame. No one is. It all happened as it should have. We understood as souls before incarnating that it would serve our mutual evolution.

Now is the moment of freedom. We can now alter our perceptions and realize that we are in fact safe, worthy, capable, good and free to live our lives in ways that fulfill us. We can now release these false beliefs and their resulting emotions and live a new present based on "new past" that we have just created by altering our perception of ourselves, others and whatever might have "happened" but no longer exists.

We have free will. No one can or ever will force us to forgive others or our selves and let go of bitterness, pain, anger and guilt. If we chose to hold on to the past, that is our own not very wise choice and we will live with its consequences. The means to let go are here in this book. We simply need to choose freedom over slavery to the past.

This can be done especially effectively through all forms of energy psychology but especially through TAT and Ho'oponopono.

Through TAT, our alternative perception of the past will likely include that we experience our security and self-worth regardless of what might be happening or what others might be doing. We will experience that others are fellow souls trying their best in the same evolutionary process that we find ourselves entwined. That they did what they could considering their own "past", fears, programming etc. as well as with the "soul contracts" that we had agreed on before entering the physical realms. We will experience the same events through the prism that live gave us exactly what we needed for our growth process. We might even be able to think of all the lessons we have learned and the ways we have become stronger and better persons because of these events and situations.

Holding the past event in mind, we will remember that we are eternal divine consciousness and that our security and self-worth are equally eternal and immutable.

As we relive those events, we will feel understanding, compassion, forgiveness and love for ourselves and all the other fellow souls who participated in those "dramas" with us.

Through Ho'oponpono, we will learn to forgive, love and bless all as we ask their forgiveness for any part we may have played in those events and express our love to them and ourselves. We will learn to thank the Divine for now removing all aspects of ourselves that may contribute to or attract such realties.

We will become free from all inner causes and also consequences of those events on our relationships with our bodies, ourselves, others, those of the opposite sex, of the same sex, with beings in power, with money, with sex, our profession and even our spiritual life.

I warmly suggest that you contact a guide experienced in this process to get you started. If that is not possible, then contact us through our website for more information on how you can proceed. ( or

Once you have made a list of the specific events you would like to discharge emotionally, then you might want to answer the following questionnaires for greater clarity on each issue.

Continued in the next issue.
Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy

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