I have talked about the Law of Attraction (LOA) on this blog before, and I am well aware that it is a touchy subject with those of us that have survived the abuses and atrocities that we have. When I first heard about the LOA, manifesting what we want with thought, I too began thinking that this was just another way to blame me; or blame any victim.
Back then my emotions were still really raw and my thinking was still clouded by what I had been going through, so I didn’t really view myself as a victim. Because of that, the term victim-blaming meant absolutely nothing to me; I just felt like ‘oh great this really was all my fault’. Since then, through much research and growing within myself I have come to see the error of that way of thinking. Abuse suffered is NEVER the fault of the person suffering it...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!
So, then how in this world can I sit here and say that even though I believe in LOA, I know that the abuse I suffered was not my thoughts attracting that abuse to me?
We all, every single human being on this planet, has the use of free will at our disposal. We can each choose to do whatever it is that we want to do. Some people choose to do evil, nasty things will this free will. They choose to hurt people, in various ways. There is nothing that anyone else can do to change their decisions, just as they can not sway (in most cases) the decisions of those that have chosen to be nice people.
I have had many people ask me “Why did God let this happen to me”, regardless of who your God/Goddess is; I don’t think they ‘let’ it happen to you. Once someone invokes their free will and decides to do whatever it is they are going to do, I don’t think any of the many Deities out there will interfere with that free will. Now, of course, this is my opinion and belief and I am not attempting to cram that down anyone’s throat.
I am only trying to explain, in answer to many questions, why can I feel ok posting stuff about LOA on a blog that is meant to be read by those that have been abused.
Nice positive thinking never hurts anyone, so even if you don’t want to believe in LOA, thinking in a positive manner rather than a negative manner won’t hurt anyone. When we sit around thinking to ourselves (oh yeah, I’m guilty of this myself from time to time) that we don’t deserve this or that; then obviously we are never going to get the chance to actually discover if we ‘deserve’ it or not.
To me this is the base of LOA.
Say for instance, I want to start dating again, but my thoughts keep returning to the abuse and I keep thinking that I can’t trust anyone; rather than attracting someone that I probably could trust I most likely will end up with another abuser, or no one at all. So what I need to do is think in terms of:
- I am ready to date again
- I am deserve a good partner/mate
We are told that the LOA does not recognize negatives when we are thinking things like:
- I don’t want to be abused again
We are told that phrase would basically translate to:
- I want to be abused again
So, what should we do with this? Try to keep your thoughts focused in positive terminology when thinking about what it is that you do and don’t want to have in your future. Think about what you DO want rather than what you DO NOT want.
Because of the free will thing that I mentioned above, I personally still do not think that victims are to blame for ‘attracting’ abuse to them, based on the principles of LOA. So, for me, along with all the positive thinking I have to factor in not only knowing what is that I DO want but also knowing the warning signs and red flags that may indicate that I am going down a road that I do not wish to follow.
And, even though I believe in the positive thought methods and the LOA, I also realize that I can not sit around all day thinking happy stuff and have a great life. I know that I must be willing to do things to make that happiness come to me; whether I am wanting a new car, more money, a relationship, etc, etc, etc...this list is different for everyone and goes on forever.
I hope this has answered those of you that have asked me about how I can merge LOA into NOT blaming the victims. I encourage and want your comments, questions and feedback!
Go Empower Yourself!