Saturday, September 19, 2009

Angela Shelton Warrior Workshop

This past Sunday Angela Shelton did a live Warrior Workshop online.  If you missed it you can still get the Warrior Workbook and watch the live recording form the workshop.

This was a GREAT workshop and workbook!  I urge you to get the workbook and then go through it with watching the video, to get the over view.  Then go back and actually work through the workbook at your own pace and fill it in.  You may find this helpful while working through the Self-Healing from Trauma Series.

Get the Warrior Workbook here:  http://store.searchingforangelasheltonstore.com/swordwb.html

Here is the video...if you are having trouble with the video here please go to the link where the video is on USTREAM:  http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/2158468

Friday, September 18, 2009

Where is your purple gonna be?

I usually dye my hair purple for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) which is October, and I choose purple because that is the awareness color of Domestic Violence (DV).  People always stop me in public and ask me why my hair is purple; cause I do NOT look the type you’d think would normally have purple hair.  When they ask, I get the chance to tell them!!  Others aren’t so pushy with it and just hang purple lights around their house or purple ribbons on their cars.

Each year around this time I try to write up something about DVAM being just around the corner.  I like to make people aware of this month to encourage them to get involved in activities in their local areas.  Now is the time to start looking into what activities the DV agencies are hosting during the month of October, so that you can plan and won’t miss the event you want to attend or help with.

I feel that as a society we should be ‘aware’ of domestic violence year round.  However, I also realize that by setting aside a certain month to view a certain issue gives us time to focus on and process the information we receive during that specific month.  I encourage everyone to become involved in community programs through out the year, which are focused on preventing DV.

If you are not already involved in your local community or surrounding area with helping in the areas of DV Awareness and/or prevention, or helping the victims of DV then the following may be some ways in which you can get involved.  This is a general list to give you ideas.  If you would like more specific options on how you can help, please contact your local DV Shelter or State Domestic Violence Coalition.

Here is the post that I posted last year and I feel it still works, so I’m giving it to ya again!

So... I get asked: "Great, you tell me to help DV victims during awareness month, but how am I supposed to do that when I have never even met a DV victim?"

There are many people that would be more than willing to do something during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, however they just aren't sure what to do, or where or when or how...

This list is copied from this ARTICLE.  

In your place of worship
1. Encourage information about domestic abuse in the congregation's programs, youth groups, marriage preparation, study groups, etc.
2. Establish a committee to promote awareness of the problem and how the congregation can help.
3. Organize a drive to collect food, toiletries, household goods and other needed items for a local domestic violence service.
In your workplace
4. Display posters or brochures (in break rooms, restrooms, or meeting rooms) to promote awareness of domestic abuse and how to get help.
5. Organize a Brown Bag lunch or other event for co-workers and invite a speaker to talk about solutions to the problem.
6. Ask what policies your employer has developed to keep employees safe from a domestic abuser who threatens the workplace.
In schools and daycare
7. Encourage the editor of the school newspaper to have a special issue about teen dating violence and partner abuse.
8. Write a paper about domestic violence to share with students.
9. Educate teachers and other staff about the connection between child abuse and partner abuse.
In civic organizations, clubs or neighborhoods
10. Invite a speaker to educate organization members about domestic violence.
11. Organize a fundraising event or food/toiletries drive to benefit a domestic violence service agency.
12. Publish information about domestic violence and available resources in the newsletter.
13. "Adopt" a family seeking independence from an abuser, to assist with practical needs.

As a Citizen
14. Ask your local library to stock books on domestic violence and to set up displays to educate the public about the issue.
15. Speak out against domestic abuse: Expressing your view that domestic violence is unacceptable has a powerful effect on changing the norms that support abuse.
16. Write letters to newspaper editors or send commentaries to TV and radio to help raise awareness about domestic violence.
17. Vote for public leaders who take a strong stand against domestic abuse.
18. Call 911 if you see or hear a crime of domestic abuse in progress. Write down license plate numbers, locations, and any other information that may be helpful to law enforcement.
19. Volunteer with a domestic violence service. Organizations need help with office activities, fund raising events, technical and professional services and assistance to clients.
20. Donate used clothing and household goods to a program that gives these vital items to families seeking independence from an abuser.
21. Participate in neighborhood crime watch programs.

Hang information flyers and/or awareness flyers in public restrooms, or anywhere else you think would they would be noticed. Now keep in mind that you don't have to stop doing some of this stuff after October!  By all means...continue your efforts throughout the year.

The more the merrier!

So in stating this, I implore all of you out there to stand up and do something for domestic violence victims not only in October, but throughout the year. Turn these victims into proud SURVIVORS!!! Give them some hope and some help. To borrow a phrase used quite often, give them a hand-up not a hand-out.

All of these are really general and will take some research, time and effort on your part.  But, the way I look at it is this...the time I take to do even one of these activities just may save someone's life.....so are a few minutes of your life worth the life of another?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Energy Psychology

I sat down to do a short write up on energy psychology.  I wanted to give a brief definition and a few examples of techniques.  While doing a little more research I ran across this article that is very well written and does just what I was attempting to do.  So, hhhmmm, why re-invent the wheel?

This article defines energy psychology in general and goes on to discuss Neuro Emotional Technique (NET), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), and Applied Kinesiology (AK)http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/counselingarchive-energy-psychology.asp

The only one of the above that I have any experience with is EFT.  (I’m a Certified Holistic Harmony Emotional Freedom Practitioner).  So, I began doing a little digging around on the other techniques mentioned in the above article.  In the process of doing that research I found many differing opinions and techniques that are all very similar. 

One thing that I have learned is that there is no absolute as to which techniques work for which things.  Seems there are varying results with each technique depending on each individual.

Reiki is another form of energy healing that some classify in with the energy psychology, some don’t.  I’m not much for what label to give something, though as long as it helps!  I also have experience with Reiki and I am a Reiki Master/Teacher.  The thing I like most of the Reiki is that it can be used over distances.

If you would like more information about Reiki please view my Reiki Level I Guide, download it if you want, its FREE!

I have not written anything about EFT as of yet.  I feel that I need to work with it more in order to write anything original.  I can guide you through learning and employing EFT; as well as work with you on differing tapping sequences and how to choose a setup phrase and more. 

To view an excerpt from the instruction manual I learned from (written and taught by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony) please visit this link:  http://www.holisticharmony.com/ebookscb/sameft.asp scroll down to chapter 1 and 2.

To get a free download of the EFT Manual written by Gary Craig please visit this link:  http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

I have worked with and from both manuals so am familiar with them, if you need help or have questions.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Healing the Inner Child Part 3

This is the third in a series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner child (Clarity issue 168).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Note:
The work described in this article usually requires
Guidance and support by a person experienced in this work.

LIST OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES
Wherever the questions below refer to our parents or other persons of our childhood, we must also think of stepmothers, stepfathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and sisters, cousins, teachers and any other persons who existed in our lives as a child up to the age of 18.
Remember in each case to ask yourself, which beliefs and childhood assumptions were developed as a result of that experience?
1. Was there someone who became angry with you, scolded you, rejected you or accused you? Who and when?
2. Were there people in your family or surroundings who fought among themselves or rejected or hurt one another? Who and when?
3. Have you ever experienced the feeling of abandonment? Were you ever left alone? Have you ever felt that others didn't understand you, or that you received no support?
4. Did you ever feel the need for more affection, tenderness or expression of love? During which periods of your life?
5. Were there persons in your environment who were often ill or who often spoke of illness? Did they ever blame you for their illness or did you ever feel guilty concerning their illness?
6. Did you ever experience the feeling of humiliation in the presence of others or in relationship with others?
7. Were you ever compared to others as to whether you were less or more capable or worthy? To whom, in which instances, and in connection with which abilities or character traits?
8. Have you ever lost a loved one? Who and when?
9. Did anyone ever approach you sexually without your consent? Who, when, and how did you feel?
10. Were you ever aware of your parents or anyone else making love? Who and when? How did you feel and what did you think?
11. Did your parents ever state that you were the only reason they stayed together, and that this had been a big sacrifice on their part? Did they ever tell you they had sacrificed a great deal for your sake, and that you were indebted to them? What exactly do they believe you owe them?
12. Did anyone ever accuse you of being the cause of his or her unhappiness, illness or problems? Who accused you and about what exactly? What did they mean by saying that it was your fault? What does this statement mean to you? According to them, what should you have done or be doing now?
13. Did anyone ever say you would never achieve anything in your life, that you are lazy, incompetent, or unintelligent?
14. Were you ever caught playing with your genitals (alone or with others), and did anyone make you feel guilty about that?
15. Did anyone speak about guilt and punishment from a person, a parent, the police or God? About what types of guilt and what type of punishment?
16. Did any teacher ever make you feel humiliated in front of other children?
17. Did you ever feel rejection or inferior in the company of other children? By whom? Inferior by what criteria?
18. Were you ever told you were responsible for the general well being of your siblings or others, and that whatever happened to them was your responsibility? Concerning what matters were you "responsible"?
19. Were you ever made to understand in some way (negative or positive) that in order for someone to be acceptable and lovable, one must:
___a. Be better than the others?
___b. Be first at everything?
___c. Be perfect, without faults?
___d. Be intelligent and clever?
___e. Be handsome / beautiful?
___f. Have perfect order and cleanliness at home?
___g. Have great success in his/her love life?
___h. Be financially and socially successful?
___i. Be accepted by everyone?
___j. Be active in many ways? Achieve many things?
___k. Always satisfy the other's needs?
___l. Never say "no" to others?
___m. Never express his/her personal needs?
20. Did anyone ever make you believe in some way that you were incapable of thinking, making decisions, or achieving things by yourself, and that you would always need to depend on others? Who passed on this message to you? About what matters were you supposedly "incapable" of making decisions or handling life properly?
21. Did you ever have role models (parents, older siblings or others) who were, or still are, so dynamic and competent that you felt:
a. The need to reach their level of achievement?
b. The need to prove your self-worth in some way?
c. Despair, self-rejection, abandonment of effort, self-destructive tendencies (possibly subconscious), because you believed you could never measure up to them?
22. Has there ever been in your environment someone with unexpected, unpredictable, nervous or even schizophrenic behavior (possibly alcohol or drug induced) making it difficult for you to anticipate what he or she might do next? Have they engaged in violent behavior (physical or psychological)? By whom, and what was the behavior like?
23. Have you felt rejection towards or shame concerning one of your parents? For whom and why?
24. Did you ever discover that one of your parents had an extra-marital affair? When and under what circumstances? How did you feel about that?
25. Did anyone speak to you about a vengeful, punishing God or about the "Devil?"
26. Did you ever feel that they told you one thing but did another, that there was no consistency in their words, that they had a double standard - one for themselves and another for others - or that they were hypocritical, false and deceptive?
27. Upon what was your parents' security based?
___a) on money?
___b) on the others' opinions?
___c) on education?
___d) on personal power?
___e) on family unity?
___f) on property?
___g) on one's spouse?
___h) other? _________________________
28. Were you a spoiled child who always got whatever you wanted, and to whom no one ever refused a favor?
29. Did anyone suppress your freedom of movement and expression? Did they force you to do things you did not want to do? (study, visits, dress). Did they forbid you to do things you wanted to do? What were you forced to do or prevented from doing?
30. (FOR WOMEN). Did anyone in some way try to make you believe that since you are a "girl":
a. You are worth less than a man?
b. You are not safe without a man?
c. Sex is dirty (a sin)?
d. You must be married in order to be socially accepted?
e. You are less competent than men?
f. Your only mission is to serve others?
g. You must not express your needs, feelings or opinions?
h. You must submit yourself to your husband?
i. You must be attractive to be acceptable?
j. You must compete with men.
k. You must never trust men.
l. Men want you for sex only.
m. You are in danger of being suppressed by men.
31. (FOR MEN). Did anyone in some way try to make you believe that since you are a "boy":
a. You must be strong?
b. You must be superior, more competent, stronger and more intelligent than your wife?
c. Your self-worth is measured according to the success of your love life or the number of your sexual conquests?
d. Your worth is measured according to your professional (financial) success?
e. You must compare yourself with other men?
f. You are in danger of being controlled by women.

YOUR OWN LIST
Having noted the above mentioned possible childhood experiences that may have conditioned your subconscious to react in undesirable ways (fear, hurt, shame, guilt, anger, pain) to certain behaviors, events and situations, the next step is add any other experiences that are not listed here.

Now decide which of these past experiences you would like to free yourself from first. You will move on to work with the others after discharging and transforming the first. It is more effective to work with one experience at a time.

Many get lost and have no success, because they put all of their problems together and get confused and fail to get free. You might complain that there are so many, that it will take years to become free working on them one by one.

There are two answers to this. First of all, years is not a long time. Most people never get free, and those who undergo psychotherapy often take many years to get free. My experience is that if you begin to do this work, preferably with an experienced guide, that you can discharge most singular experiences (perhaps not all), in a few days or at least in a few weeks, with energy psychology.

Some few experiences may take longer to discharge - the main obstacle being our own inner resistance to let go of the pain, resentment, anger or guilt. The techniques work as long as we want them to work. If we are identified with our pain or anger or even guilt and wear them like medals of war for which we are proud and feel our self-worth through them, then we simply do not want to let them go. This is our main obstacle, fear of happiness and fear of actual freedom.

The second answer is that, when we work on a particular experience which is still subconsciously charged with fear, anger, hurt or guilt and resolve those emotional energies with some form of energy psychology, then the energy of those emotions in all of our other similar past experiences is lessened.

When we have worked with around 20% of the these individual experiences the rest of them simply lose their power and do not actually need to be worked on individually. Thus it is important that you now chose one particular past event you would like to get free from.

You could then employ your preferred method of energy psychology or first make the following analysis of that particular experience and then employ your preferred techniques.

Continued in the next issue.

Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy  http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebookscb/index.asp

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Enjoyment baskets, happy thoughts and mini vacations; OH MY!

Don't forget that while you are working through the Self-Healing from Trauma Series to use your enjoyment basket from Block 2  and don't forget the things that make you make you happy from Block 1.

Take it easy on yourself and don't try to force it.  Go back to your enjoyment container and your list of things that make you happy as often as needed!  Mini vacations help too!

If you need feed back or have questions or comments as you work through this, please don't hesitate to email me at tailoredlifecoaching@gmail.com

Remember:
GO EMPOWER YOURSELF!