Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Tailored Life Coaching Appreciation Challenge


Here in the US, we have Thanksgiving coming up this month, so let’s look at some of the things that we can give thanks for throughout the month; why only give thanks on one day!  When we are grateful for the people and things that are already in our lives, we attract more of the same ‘type’ to us. 

I read an article a couple weeks ago about a school teacher that gave each of her students a blue ribbon and told them what a difference they had made to her and to the class.  She then challenged each of them to take three of the ribbons out into their homes and communities and present them to others.

That article made me start thinking about showing appreciation of others and giving thanks for what we have.  Far too often we spend more time thinking of who or what we do NOT have in our lives, which prevents us from being happy with what we do have. 

I give each of you this challenge:

Write a paragraph of why you appreciate yourself.  I know this may sound funny or be hard to get started.  We often overlook our own positive qualities when we are stressed and/or hurting.  Remind yourself what it is about you that you are totally happy about, write out how and why you appreciate yourself.  Keep this paragraph and re-read it often, particularly when you are feeling your most down.  Re-write this paragraph as you grow and make changes, to include your growth and changes for the positive.

Think of one person that you appreciate having in your life above all others.  Write a paragraph as to WHY you appreciate this person and give it to them.  It doesn’t matter if you write it by hand and mail it to them or email it to them or even if send it to them on one of the various social networking sites you are on, just make sure they get it.  Follow your appreciation paragraph with this same challenge to them, for them to do the same for someone else.

Please pass this challenge on to others that you did not write a note of appreciation to, ask everyone you know to take this challenge!

Go Empower Yourself!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Healing Your Inner Child Series

Back in September I was posting a series written by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner child.

Here are the links to the first three articles in that series:

Healing the Inner Child

Healing the Inner Child Part 2

Healing the Inner Child Part 3


Beginning on Monday, November 2nd, I will finish posting the rest of this series.  There are nine parts to this series, part four will be posted on Monday and then continue every other day for the rest of them.  So, please take a moment and review the three parts that have already been posted.

If you have any questions, comments or need feedback while reading through and working through this material, please do not hesitate to contact me at

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Freeing our Energy

This is the third in a series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Personal Energy (Clarity issue 161).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Fear, anxiety and anger as stimulants

Emotions then become our stimulants and we subconsciously seek to recreate emotional states so that we can our "dose" or "high". For some the high might be harmless or positive stimulants such as dancing, singing, playing games or sports, telling jokes or watching comedies that provide the energy of laughter.

Stimulation, however, does not need to be of a positive nature. We get as much of an energy rush through negative feelings such as fear, anxiety, anger, pain, and even rejection. Thus we all have learned to stimulate our energy through both pleasant and unpleasant emotions.

Some, become addicted to fear (horror movies) or focusing on emotions of fear or panic and get energy from that. Some like the "rush" of danger when they do extreme sports, drive fast, or perhaps gamble with money, with relationships or even their lives. Winning and losing become important stimulants. For some this can be the appeal of belonging to a sports team and watching and routing for them.

Fears tend to stimulate our flee or fight mechanisms and thus get the energy moving.

We have thousands of fears, but the most common are fear of rejection, disapproval, failure, illness and death for ourselves or loved ones. These can lead us to other energy consuming efforts such as spending time and money to improve our appearance physically, mentally and spiritually, with the hope of being more acceptable and loved. These concerns about acceptance and security then become a major life focus towards which we direct large amounts of time, thought and energy.

Others are addicted to and seek energy from anger and conflict and tend to recreate arguments and discord. They may complain about how others are behaving and the conflicts they are experiencing, but subconsciously they are attracting it. Some establish permanent states of arousal by letting their anger become hate or an obsession with revenge. Such persons might create an unending series of dramas in their lives or minds, or perhaps they will find such drama voyeuristically through soap operas and other similar series, which keep their energy moving - but not replenishing.

Another aspect of this is the game of who is right and wrong, which can engage us in hours of stimulating argument to prove ourselves right and the others wrong. If we simply decided to agree to disagree and love each other anyway, we would experience the natural flow of love energy from within.

We need to remember the difference between stimulating old energy and receiving and using new energy. One leaves us depleted. The other rejuvenates us.

Some stimulate their energy by facing challenges. This might be mountain climbing, hunting or perhaps the hunt and success or failure of the "mating game", which for some persons looses its interest when the other becomes "theirs". They have a continuous need to be after someone who is a challenge and does not easily respond. And when they finally "conquer" that person they loose their source of stimulation and become bored and dissatisfied.

Others stimulate themselves with anxiety about what they have to do and how much time they have or do not have. In fact some people believe that such anxiety makes them more effective. Such persons focus on the future, hardly ever enjoying the present. Anxiety is their drug and they keep up a steady number of reasons to feel that way, in the same way that we keep a fire burning by adding logs. Some fuel their fire of anxiety by worrying about others.

All of these emotions such as fear, anger and anxiety may make us feel alive and awake, but they gradually weaken our nervous and immune systems, leaving us vulnerable to a wide variety of psychosomatic illnesses such as ulcers, asthma, allergies, colitis and even cancer. These are not the ideal way to get feel energized.

Some are addicted to guilt, which might work like a stimulant in some cases and a depressant in others. Others are addicted to falling in love, becoming enamored and then disillusioned - proving to themselves every time that they are unlucky in love.

Many are addicted to the role of the victim and the abused and inwardly feel a positive energy when they are done injustice to, because once again they are the "good guys" and the others are the "bad guys".

Continued in the next issue.  by Robert Elias Najemy

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


This is the second in a series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Personal Energy (Clarity issue 160).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Some of the problems with the ways in which we seek to increase or "protect" our energy in relationships.

Our energy is directly related to the satisfaction of our needs. When our basic needs are satisfied, we feel safe and we open to the energy waiting within ourselves to flow forth. When someone pays attention to us, admires us, congratulates us, loves us, accepts us or compliments us in some way, we experience a boost of energy.

When their positive input to us in genuine and they also love themselves, they have provided us with a stimulus that allows us to feel our inner sense of security and self-worth and thus contact our own inner energy reservoir.

The main problem with the ways in which most people seek to gain energy is that we try to get it from outside of ourselves rather from our direct connection with the universal source, which is within us. This is well expressed in the third, fourth and fifth insights of the Celestine prophesy.

The fourth insight describes the way in which we "battle" to get our energy from others by playing the commonly know roles of the victim, aloof, interrogator and intimidator. We seek to take energy from others by controlling them through these and other roles that we play. We hope to be able to control them so that they will give us what we need. In addition we play these same games in order to prevent others from being able to control us or take energy from us. We often do this in order to verify our self-worth and our superiority.

Even though the possible (but not probable) rewards from these games is ever so miniscule in comparison to openly loving and being loved, most people have never experienced the later and thus resort to these love destroying games.

When we are battling for energy, then we seek to get the upper hand, by playing the victim and making others feel sorry or us or feel guilty and responsible for our realty and thus pay attention to us, not ask anything from us and give us what we need. We take their energy they feel depleted and perhaps resentful and angry because they feel manipulated and or suppressed. In the rare case that the others comply with our need out of love and understanding (rather than out of fear or guilt), then do not lose but rather gain energy.

This is important for us to remember. If we are going to make sacrifices for others, it must be done with love and knowing that we have the free choice of not giving them what they want and that we chose without fear or guilt and only out of love to give to them. In such cases, we never loose energy - but actually gain as we become conductors of divine love. Sacrifices out of fear or guilt have no value and they drain our energy. Sacrifices of love increase our energy.

The same is true concerning our interactions with all the other games that people play. We need to cease making compromises because we need attention from the aloof, or the acceptance from the interrogator or because we fear the intimidator. When we make compromises out of fear or guilt we give our energy to the others - which does them no good in the end - because it is stolen energy and not true energy. When we make compromises out of understanding and love, we actually gain energy and of course - so do they.

In general we tend to lose energy when our programming causes us to feel fearful, dependent, rejected, demeaned, controlled, unwanted, unloved, humbled, lonely, disillusioned, weak, unable, suppressed and or any other unpleasant emotion. We also obviously cause others to lose energy when we behave in ways that trigger such feelings in them.

We can immediately see that when we feel our energy is in danger we will become fearful and will want to protect it. We need to free ourselves from our fear of losing energy, which causes us to become defensive and selfish and indifferent to how others feel and what they need. In this case we could replace the word energy with time, money, attention and other possible resources that we might fear losing.

These energy games are also control games. We feel an inherent fear of being controlled and simultaneously a need to control others. This causes us to react negatively, defensively and perhaps even offensively when we feel that others are endangering our energy level by asking us to do something we feel we do not have the time, inclination or energy to do. When we controlled by such fear, we may become angry, critical and even violent - or at least distant

The truth is that we do not need to protect ourselves and our energy by crying, complaining or becoming angry, critical or distant. We can simply let go of our fear of the intimidator, and our need for acceptance from the interrogator and or victim as well as our need for attention or communication from the aloof. When we are free from these fears and needs, we loose no energy when they play these roles because we are able to maintain our feelings of security, peace and love.

This will require that we let go of the responsibility we feel for others' realities and our need for their acceptance and approval. We will also need to learn how to communicate with I-messages and active listening. (Visit

Our energy is increased when we feel loved, respected, admired, appreciated, respected, cared for, supported, important, useful, helpful, grateful, secure, worthy, special and free to be ourselves.

Love, like any other spiritual quality, requires a high level of positive energy. Not nervous energy or ambitious energy, but a sense of well-being and inner power and strength. As spirits in the process of mastering our ability to express our divine nature such as love, forgiveness, peace, honesty and conscientiousness, our first responsibility is create a strong and positive energy field.

Energy stimulation as opposed to inner flow
Many of us confuse the stimulation of or the use of energies already stored within our system with actually receiving new cosmic energy from our universal source.

Stimulating the energy already within is like shaking an old battery or toner cartridge for our printer so that it will give us a little more service. This will work only temporarily until they become totally empty. Connecting to the source would be like recharging (a rechargeable) battery or having the toner cartridge filled.

What are some of the ways in which we try to re-stimulate and eventually deplete our energy sources rather than refill them with new energy?

Junk food, sweets, soft drinks, alcohol and cigarettes can be a major source of short-lived energy bursts. For some the whole issue of food can become a life drama.

Thinking about it, buying it, preparing it, eating it, cleaning up after and then thinking about the next meal. Food in excess as we all know actually drains rather than boosts our energy. We often use these substances in an attempt to temporarily balance or cover up emotions such as anxiety, fear or pain.

One obvious way that we try to get quick energy from our stagnant reserves is through chemical substances such as sugar, caffeine, amphetamines, alcohol and other stimulants. The results of such strategies are often negative physically and emotionally.

We also have an inner pharmacy of chemicals that stimulate but eventually drain our reserves rather than placing us in contact with our unlimited universal source. These chemicals are called peptides, which are the hormones of our emotions.

Every time we experience an emotion, our hypothalamus excretes some of the peptides, which are then received by the cells in the same receptacles that accept the above mentioned external stimulants. Our body then becomes addicted on the same way to these emotion-created stimulants and we become dependent on these emotions for our sense of energy and balance, just as we do with coffee and others substances.

Continued in the next issue.  by Robert Elias Najemy

Monday, October 26, 2009

Personal Energy

This is the first in a series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Personal Energy (Clarity issue 159).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Everything is energy and Energy is everything.

Our health, happiness and harmonious functioning in these temporary bodies depend on having abundant quantities of harmoniously flowing energy - without tension or blockages.

When we lack energy or the harmonious flow thereof, we experience tiredness, exhaustion, confusion, pain, illness, weakness, lack of clarity and an inability to deal with daily responsibilities, chores, work, life challenges and other's negativity or demands. A natural result of a lack of energy is depression, pessimism, fear, loneliness, self-rejection, guilt, weakness, self-doubt and feelings of inability and futility.

When we are energized we have greater health, vitality, clarity, effectiveness, productivity, creativity, happiness, peace and gratitude. Our lives are much happier and more enjoyable.

While in these bodies, we are in a constant struggle for energy. We need this energy in order to feel well, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When our energy falls below certain levels we begin to malfunction on all levels and develop defense mechanisms in order to "protect" ourselves - so that we do not "lose any more energy" and hopefully regain our energy. We will discuss these mechanisms later.

We use this one universal energy for all that we do. For example this energy allows us to:
· Keep our bodies alive.
· Keep them warm.
· Move our limbs.
· Communicate with our limbs and organs.
· Deal with bacteria and other foreign bodies.
· Circulate our blood and other nutrients.
· Breathe in oxygen and out toxins.
· Think, create and solve problems
· Speak and communicate in various ways with others.
· Enjoy life's pleasures.
· Love and create children.
· Execute our work and responsibilities here on the planet.
· Observe and analyze our minds and emotions.
· Feel, sense and communicate with the divine.
· Pray, meditate, contemplate and unite with the divine.
And so many more physical, emotional, mental and spiritual activities.

It is essential therefore to discover:
1. How we receive and create more energy.
2. How we can keep our energy high.
3. How most efficiently use this energy
4. How to ensure the harmonious flow of our energy within our energy system.
5. How to exchange energy fairly, properly and harmoniously with people, other beings and elements in our environment.

Making choices concerning our energy sources.
Some activities or substances may increase our energy on the short run but cause us to loose energy, freedom or happiness in the long run.

Most of us seek to replenish our energy in ways that depend on substances, external stimuli and other's behavior. This is not a problem - unless it becomes so. How could it become a problem? Some substances such as stimulants can also be detrimental to our health and ultimately to our energy. For example white sugar, empty of natural nutrients, might give us a short lived energy burst - but shortly after we are even more tired and our reserves of vitamins and minerals needed for the metabolism are being compromise. Similar negative side affects can be attributed to caffeine, soft drinks, alcohol, amphetamines and any other substances we might depend on for short bursts of energy.
A wiser choice here would be grains and legumes, which give us a lasting source of slowly released energy as well as the nutrients needed to metabolize them.

Our energy system is much more enhanced when we engage in movement activities such as dance, exercise, singing, making music or playing sports is than when we are inert spectators to all these forms of movement.

When we need others to listen to us and agree with us, in order replenish our energy, we are dependent on them for our energy level. This is not something we can depend on, especially if we are not willing to give this same energy back to others. They will gradually grow weary if us, and most likely avoid us.

Our ways of increasing and harmonizing our energy will ordinarily evolve as we develop emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This should be a natural process without inner conflict or self-suppression.

We would all do well to observe the ways in which we seek to replenish or protect our energy and decide if we would like to make any adjustments. The area in which we probably most need to make such adjustments is in the way play "energy games" with others. Such games have an extremely detrimental effect on our relationships and subsequently on our health and happiness.

Continued in the next issue. by Robert Elias Najemy