Friday, November 13, 2009

Healing the Inner Child part 9

This is the last in a nine part series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner Child (Clarity issue 174). 

Positive Mesages

POSITIVE MESSAGES FOR OUR INNER CHILD
At some point in our process of healing our inner child, we will want to communicate directly with that part of our subconscious. The following is a list of possible messages for our inner child, which can be strengthened internally by:

a.
Writing them in a letter to the inner child
b. Introducing them to the inner child while in the transformation regression.
c.
Replaying them our daily communication with the inner child.
d. Making a relaxation CD with these messages.
After reading the following possible messages one might want to communicate to one's inner child, please close the book and forget what has been said here, and write a personal love letter to your own inner child expressing whatever you feel it needs to hear from you in order to feel safe, worthy, free and happy.
1. I accept and love you exactly as you are.
2. I appreciate you and respect you.
3. I feel affection and tenderness for you.
4. You are free to do what you like provided you are not hurting anybody.
5. You are capable and strong.
6. There is an infinite spiritual power within you that protects you from illness, traumas and dangers.
7. Your body is healthy, strong and resistant to illness.
8. You live in divine justice, which brings to you only what is useful for your development.
9. You selected your parents and the events of your childhood, and thus you created the perfect conditions for your development.
10. There is a Divine Power that guides you from within.
11. There is within you a knowing and wise voice that always leads you correctly in your life. Follow it.
12. You have the right and the responsibility to express your inner strength and beauty creatively.
13. You deserve love and respect from everyone, regardless of your appearance, social position, profession, knowledge, achievements, or what others think of you.
14. Your self worth is the same as that of every other soul, no more and no less.
15. No one else can create or be responsible for your happiness, health or success.
16. You cannot create or assume responsibility for the happiness, health or success of others.
17. You are an eternal, divine consciousness in the process of developing the ability to express the beauty that exists within you.
18. Everything is God. There is no one or thing that is not the expression of the one universal consciousness (God). You are no exception.
19. It is not necessary to live your life according to the convictions or expectations of your parents or anyone else. Love, respect and help them, but live according to your own principles, needs and convictions.
20. Your "parents" are eternal souls in a process of evolution whom you selected to play these roles in this incarnation. Your only real parent is God. 
21. You have the same worth, wisdom, strength, and rights as the eternal souls who played the role of your parents.
22. Whatever anyone did to harm you was out of ignorance or fear.
23. Your parents were once children who were programmed by their parents.

Having healed the inner child through these truths, we are now ready to begin the process of forgiveness, which is our true liberation from the past. If upon working with your childhood years you realize that you need to forgive others or yourself, refer to the chapters on forgiveness in the books Love is the Choice and Relationships of Conscious Love by the same author.

Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebookscb/index.asp

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Healing the Inner Child part 8

This is the eighth in a nine part series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner Child (Clarity issue 173).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Questions

Note:  The work described in this article usually requires Guidance and support by a person experienced in this work.

3. A questionnaire for getting acquainted with the inner child
Answering these questions will assist our investigation into the messages we might have received in our childhood years. Complete the following sentences with at least three answers for each if possible. Also, try to remember exactly what happened which caused you to come to those assumptions.
a. As a child, I heard that my most significant faults were.....
b. As a child, I felt guilty about/for....
c. Some messages I received about God were...
d. Some messages I received about sex were...
e. Some messages I received about money were...
f. I felt rejection when...
g. I felt fear when...
h. I felt shame or inferiority when...
i. I felt abandonment when...
j. I felt secure and safe when...
k. I felt accepted and loved when...
l. I felt freedom when...
m. I felt gratitude when ...
n. I felt happiness when...
4. A deeper questionnaire concerning our beliefs
The following questionnaire will give us supplementary information concerning the programming we developed in those early years. Answer as honestly as you can, allowing enough time to establish contact with the various parts of your personality. Do not be surprised by needs, desires, beliefs and feelings that seem to conflict or be contradictory. This is quite common and natural for a person in the process of evolution who is passing through changes in his values, beliefs and needs.
Give three or more answers to each question.
A. The basis for our feelings of security.
1. The three positive human characteristics which I value most are ...
2. The three negative human characteristics that I find most unacceptable are...
3. I love and accept myself more when ....
4. I feel guilty when ...
5. I have negative feelings when...
6. I feel happy when ...
7. I feel insecure when...
8. I feel secure when...
9. I do not believe I can ....
10. If my house were on fire and I could save only three objects (excluding people or animals), they would be.....
11. My three strongest fears are....
B. How I perceive others and how I believe they perceive me.
12. How I believe my spouse or love partner perceives me. (Or previous spouse or love partner. Or all spouses and love partners we have had until now.)
13. Three of my spouse's (love partner's) positive traits are ...
14. Three of my spouse's (love partner's) negative traits are...
15. How I believe my parents perceive me....
16. My parents always told me that I was unable to ...
17. The criticism I heard most often from my parents was...
18. Three of my father's positive qualities were/are...
19. Three of my father's negative qualities were/are...
20. Three of my mother's positive qualities were/are...
21. Three of my mother's negative qualities were/are...
22. This is how I remember my parents' relationship until I was 21 years old.
23. I find it difficult to forgive others for...
C. How I see myself.
24. I feel weak and vulnerable when ...
25. The criticism I hear most often from those around me is...
26. Three of my positive character traits are...
27. Three of my weaknesses or faults are ...
28. I find it difficult to forgive myself for...
29. I feel unable to ...
30. I wish I could ...
31. I imagine God to be...
33. I feel God in my life when .... and in this way ...
34. My life purpose is ....
35. Now imagine that you are writing to a very good friend whom you have not seen since grammar school, and you want to describe yourself to him. How would you do it?

Continued in the next issue
Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebookscb/index.asp

Monday, November 9, 2009

Healing the Inner Child part 7

This is the seventh in a nine part series of articles by Robert Najemy of Holistic Harmony on Healing the Inner Child (Clarity issue 172).  I will be sharing the rest of the articles with you as well!

Additional Aids

Note:  The work described in this article usually requires Guidance and support by a person experienced in this work.

ADDITIONAL AIDS FOR THE SEARCH INTO THE CHILDHOOD YEARS

In addition to the work mentioned above, we can also apply some of the following methods:

1. Through the guidance of well-trained professional, we can re-experience memories of the past through "regressions" to our childhood years. Such regressions are done in a state of deep relaxation where our minds are able to focus more deeply on the events we want to remember and work with. There are three types of regressions.

a. Exploratory regressions where we are simply searching to discover what might have happened that has created a specific sensitivity or blockage in our lives today.

b. Releasing regressions where we are encouraged to express feelings in various ways with or without words so as to allow those blocked feelings and energies to flow and discharge.

c. Transformational regressions with which we relive the events but alter our perception of ourselves, others and life as mentioned previously in this chapter.
This is an approach that should be undertaken only with an experienced guide.

2. By writing the story of our childhood years, we can strengthen our contact with the details of the past. This can be written in the first person, but even better in the third person, as if we are chronicling the life of some other person or as the soul remembering the events of the mind and body. This enables us to be more objective and honest in our observations. We will discover patterns of behavior that we tend to repeat throughout the years. We will find the experiences that have marked our subconscious, creating our emotional mechanisms.

This life story need not be detailed in chronological order. Each day, we can add whatever we remember in any order.

The first comment made by many people is, " I don't remember anything before the age of ten. How will I do this?" This is no problem. As we start to write, the subconscious will be awakened and memories will start flowing forth. The more we write, the more the memories will be activated.

Placing old photographs before us as we write will help, as will asking parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and older brothers and sisters what they can remember. We are not obligated to accept their interpretation of the past, but their words may trigger other memories.

Best results will be obtained if we dedicate at least twenty minutes daily to this process for at least three months.

The basic guidelines for writing the story of our childhood years are:

a. Add whatever additional memories you remember each day.

b. It need not to be in chronological order.

c. We can write in the third or first person.

d. Ask others (parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, grandparents) what they remember.

e. Look at old pictures.

Note: We need to be very careful to avoid the trap of living in the past. The past does not exist. It is only an interpretation that we hold in our minds. When we let it go, it ceases to exist. Such exercises as questionnaires, regressions and writing a journal of the "past" serve to enable us to understand the substance from which the web of our illusions have been created. We are looking for how our illusions were created so that we can let go of them, not so that we can wallow in them reinforcing the idea that we were or are the victims or that we are guilty.

Nothing in the past can make us a victim or guilty. The past does not exist. We are bringing our interpretation of the past to the surface so that we can forgive others and ourselves for our mutual ignorance and move on to create something much more beautiful.

Continued in the next issue.
Adapted from the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebookscb/index.asp